As we approach the end of the second week in January, we’re heading into what’s known as the “danger zone” for New Year’s resolutions. Studies reveal that around 30% of people abandon their goals by January 17th, a date that’s even earned the ominous title of “Quitter’s Day”, usually landing on the second Friday of the month. It’s the time when enthusiasm wanes, old habits creep back in, and that spark of motivation starts to flicker. But it’s a choice, are you a quitter or are you in for the long game and the big gains?
Your choice- you don’t have to be part of that statistic, let’s dig into why this happens—and, more importantly, how to push past it.
We’ve all been there, stuck in a cycle of procrastination, making excuses, or retreating to our comfort zones.
But what’s driving that behavior? More often than not, it’s rooted in limiting beliefs—those subtle yet powerful negative thoughts that tell us we can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t succeed.
Where Do Limiting Beliefs Come From?
- Childhood Experiences: From a young age, whether it was blatantly said or just the countless returned homework papers covered in red ink, or never getting picked for the team, the subtle messages we received that made up our childhood experiences shaped how we see ourselves and the world. You might as well have been told “you’re not good at math” or “you’ll never be an athlete,” and even if this was just your interpretation, it’s likely those beliefs stuck with you into adulthood. You might not even be aware that they still haunt you today creating mental barriers that make us feel incapable, even when the evidence suggests otherwise.
- Past Failures When you’ve experienced failure or rejection in the past, rather than pat your self on the back for trying, it’s easy to develop a belief that you’re incapable of success. A business venture that didn’t pan out or a promotion you didn’t get can leave you feeling like trying again would be pointless when really it’s just your mind protecting you from future disappointment.
- Cognitive Biases Our brains have a way of filtering the world to fit our beliefs. Confirmation bias leads us to focus on information that supports our negative perceptions, reinforcing the idea that we’re not good enough. If you believe you’re unqualified for a new job, you’ll likely fixate on any small mistake you make during the interview process, overlooking the areas where you excelled. Then there’s catastrophizing, you can probably call to mind someone who always believes that the worst-case scenario is not just possible, but inevitable. “If I start my own business, I’ll go bankrupt.” “If I ask for a promotion, I’ll get fired.” This kind of thinking keeps us frozen, afraid to take any action at all.
How Limiting Beliefs Shape Our Actions
When we hold limiting beliefs, they often turn into self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe you’re not capable of achieving a certain goal, you’ll subconsciously act in ways that confirm that belief. You might not prepare as thoroughly, put in less effort, or avoid opportunities altogether. In the end, your lack of progress seems to prove your belief right but it was really just the belief itself driving your behaviour.
Learned Helplessness: Repeated exposure to situations where you feel you have no control can create a sense of learned helplessness. Even when circumstances change, and you do have the power to influence the outcome, the belief that “nothing will change” holds you back from trying. It’s like being stuck in a mental cage, unable to see that the door is actually open.
Why We Stay in Our Comfort Zones
Staying in your comfort zone feels safe because it’s familiar. You know the landscape, even if it’s not getting you closer to your goals. Taking a step outside feels risky, and limiting beliefs love to remind you of every time things didn’t go according to plan. But remember comfort zones don’t lead to growth. Progress happens on the other side of discomfort.
The Role of Procrastination
At its core, procrastination is often a symptom of limiting beliefs. If you believe you’re going to fail, why even bother starting? If you’re convinced you’re not smart enough, capable enough, or qualified enough, it’s easier to put off the task than face the fear of failure. But here’s the thing: procrastination fuels anxiety. The more you avoid something, the bigger and scarier it becomes in your mind.
The Progress Principle: Why Small Wins Matter
Breaking free from limiting beliefs and procrastination rarely happens in one giant leap. It happens through small, incremental wins. Every time you take a step, no matter how tiny, you chip away at that nagging belief that you can’t do it. And as science shows us, dopamine is released when we complete small tasks, giving us that little hit of satisfaction that keeps us going. Small wins create momentum, and when you lean into it momentum will carry you through moments of doubt.
The Power of Habit: Turning Resolutions into Rituals
Habits are the invisible framework of our daily lives, shaping our actions with little conscious thought. They determine the kind of person you become, creating patterns of predictable behaviour. Think about it: habits define you as “the type of person who…” Whether it’s “the type of person who exercises regularly” or “the type of person who avoids difficult tasks,” your habits are what guide your behaviour.
When you intentionally build habits that align with your goals, you change how you act and, over time, transform into the type of person whose habits lead to specific outcomes.
But when you’re not in the habit of doing something, it’s easy to forget or put it off. That’s where habit stacking comes in. For example, “After I finish my morning coffee, I’ll spend 10 minutes reading a professional development article.” By connecting the new habit to an existing one, you create a seamless routine.
These small habits add up over time, turning your resolutions into daily rituals that reinforce your goals. But if your current habits are feeding into your limiting beliefs like avoiding difficult conversations, or spending time scrolling through social media instead of working on your side project it’s time to make some intentional changes.
Intentionally Creating a Great State
One of the most effective ways to break free from limiting beliefs is by intentionally creating a “great state”—a mindset where you feel empowered, focused, and capable. This could mean listening to music that energizes you, feeding your brain with positive and constructive content, or simply stepping away from other people’s drama. When you get caught up in distractions or old habits that don’t align with your values, it’s easy to lose focus on your goals, remember—what you think about, you bring about.
And a little confession from me (even coaches are human
). Today I missed joining my own fitness session for my online morning workout. And this matters to me, it’s hugely important for me to build strength drop several dress sizes etc (big wedding next year ‘not mine’). And when I did get up I was exasperated with my self. Lying in bed hadn’t moved me nearer my goals or taken me any closer to getting back into the dress I’d last worn when the groom was still in his buggy! And this is how your WHY will push you past the obstacles and drag you over the inevitable humps, this is why instead of driving to my morning appointment. I stuck my headphones on and stomped off to the bus station with Global Player dictating the pace. Eight thousand steps before lunch is a pretty big win for me and kept me buoyant all day
Taking Action: From Procrastination to Progress
So, is there something holding you back? Let’s check it out. If it’s fear, uncertainty, or a limiting belief, now is the time to confront it. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? Is it really as catastrophic as your mind is making it out to be? And more importantly, what’s the best that could happen? By flipping the script, you’re shifting the focus from what might go wrong to what could go right.
And if you do fall off the wagon, don’t beat yourself up. Edison famously found 500 ways not to make a lightbulb—each “failure” was just another lesson learned. The same goes for you. Missed a workout? Ate too much junk food? Didn’t finish that project on time? It’s not a reason to quit. It’s a chance to reassess, tweak your approach, and keep moving forward.
Conclusion: You Are Aligned with Your Goals
Here’s the truth: everything you’re doing right now is aligned with what you want to achieve. Every small win, every habit you build, every moment you spend reflecting on your limiting beliefs it’s all part of the process. But you need to make sure that your greatest values are serving you, not limiting you.
Whether it’s a personal or professional goal, remember: progress is progress, no matter how small. Your future is not determined by your past failures or beliefs—it’s shaped by the actions you take today.
Make sure to check out the next post where I will unpack addictions AKA the habits we persist with that we know aren’t helping us live our best life.
